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Volume No: 
112

By Christopher Emmanuel

People who think they know everything annoy the rest of us who do.

Today when we hear the word, “Macho” we generally think it’s related to how a man behaves, but the truth is women, men and children can behave in a machismo manner just as well. Machismo attitude stems from an unhealthy ego; where low self-esteem reigns. Someone feeling this way will boast, justify, rationalize, fight, manipulate, be arrogant and behave in controlling ways because fear has entered into them.

For infants, separation is the first cause of true fear. As we get older, however, the same separation becomes a source of pride. In its simplest definition, the ego is the concept of self that acts as a barrier between one's own mind and the world. It is the "I" we understand ourselves to be.

The ego is our awareness and, in many instances, controls how we think, how we act, and how we perceive reality because it is through the ego that we understand our experiences. The ego can lead us to selfishness, conceit, and isolation, but it can also lift us up to new heights of confidence and self-love.

Most persons with unhealthy egos are difficult to get to know or have intimacy issues because of their fear of really being found out. Their lack of self-love extends to abuse of themselves and others around them. They are constantly throwing anger fits and manipulating to get what they need. An untamed ego leaves a wake of emotional destruction in the feeling of individuals they encounter throughout their lives.

Taming the ego is really about raising one's self-esteem. This is done by developing self-love and learning how not to react to how the outside world views your life. This is not easy because unworthy feelings have taken many years to develop in most people. During crisis people are forced to look at themselves and at that time they have an opportunity to heal. It takes pain and suffering to correct a wounded ego and raise self-esteem. This pain and suffering is meaningful and should be seen as a gift for future peace of mind. It also takes self-discipline and training to build a healthy ego. Here are some effective ways:

Celebrate Your Talents

There are certain things you do well and things you know you can do better. Recognize your natural talents. Do not moan the lack of certain qualities. Appreciate that everyone has different strengths. Read articles on self-acceptance.

Learn To Say "No"

People want others to think well of them or at least, not to be angry with them. But, when you try to please everyone, you reinforce the weakness in your ego. This can create resentment and anger. Do only what you are willing to do. Don’t let yourself be forced into doing anything. Learn to say "no".

Face Problems, Accept Failures

Problems may be opportunities in disguise. If you learn to face problems and develop appropriate skills to solve them, they will turn out to be opportunities for you too. Sometimes getting what you need means not getting what you want.

No One Is Perfect

Remember that everyone has faults and imperfections. Most of the time, there are not visible. So, do not punish yourself for your shortcomings. Learn to accept yourself as you are.

Do Not Make Comparisons

Stop comparing yourself with others. Do not waste time envying the success of other people. Associate with positive, upbeat people. Stay away from people who do not accept you as you are. Encourage others success and you will find you make more success out of your life.

Books by Christopher Emmanuel can be purchased at his Art Gallery in The Sunbreeze Hotel , Art of Touch, Pages Book Store, Black orchid Spa and  Sol Spa.

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