By Christopher Emmanuel
Every now and then, I see a couple riding together on a bike along the beach. The man is peddling and the lady is sitting on the cross bar. This always brings a smile to my face; because I know that San Pedro is one of the only places I might see two adults being comfortable doing this youthful act. It makes me remember my childhood when I played games like, Tag, Hide and go Seek, Tug a War, all in the nature of having childhood fun.
Inside every man and woman is a little child. This inner child you were deserved to be cared for and loved. This is your free spirit that has been tamed and controlled as you grew into an adult. Your fun loving, carefree, creative, imaginative, artistic part of you still exist and needs to be let free. It is also the part of you that was wounded as a child and still resides in you and longs to be nurtured to feel safe and supported.
Your inner child shows when stress enters your life. It is the person we repressed and hid in order to survive in the world of stress. Existing in our subconscious mind our inner child has memories of our past that shapes our motives now and in the future. Learning to identify your inner child can help you return to your natural free nature and heal your past emotional pains. Some ways you can notice your inner child is: When you lose yourself in having a good time; Cry or become sentimental when your drink alcohol; Get sentimental when you think of your past as you look at old photos and scrap books of your childhood; Cry or grieve as adults for the losses you experienced in your past.
Nurturing your inner child requires you to make an effort to identify your stuck emotions so you can grow beyond your childhood’s past. As you take the time to look at your childhood you free yourself to be more of an adult and enjoy the life you were meant to live.
The follow are some ways to heal your inner child.
Handle irrational beliefs
Maybe its time to look at the beliefs you have about yourself and others in your life. For example: if you grew up in a household where the words, “Can’t, shouldn’t, don’t and do not,” were used often, you need to take time to examine how these words have impacted your life now. Are you using them too much or too little towards yourself or your children?
We all have negative circumstances in our past that has befallen others, and ourselves, that we feel responsible for. Take time to review these situations and forgive yourself and others. Realize that it is no longer a part of your present life. After you have asked for forgiveness, do not allow others to guilt you back into the feeling again. Let them know that you have moved on and let them know they need to as well.
Learn to enjoy small things
Sometimes we grow up too or became an overachiever. You had to become a mom or dad fast and felt you had no time to enjoy your youth. Maybe its time to slow down and let go. Start enjoying children, pets and the aroma of food. Listen to music, start to have “fun'' again, enjoy the human side of those in your life, and develop a sense of humor, a new hobby. Take a risk and set up a “playtime” for your “inner child” in a family-like situation where you can play with children, e.g., have a pillow fight and play hide and seek again.
Learn how to feel and share your emotions
Begin an activity to generate positive feelings each day. Explore the world or your life in general. Recognize one good thing about it daily. Become your best friend and spend time alone talking to your inner child and explain how you feel. Write or share your feeling with a close friend you can trust.
Books by Christopher Emmanuel can be purchased at his Art Gallery in The Sunbreeze Hotel , Art of Touch, Pages Book Store, Black orchid Spa and Sol Spa.