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Volume No: 
119

By Christopher Emmanuel

Emotions are much like waves.
You can't stop them from coming, but you can choose which one to surf

In this part of the world we think of power as being strong physically, fighting back or being able to take on a lot of stressful situations. But in other parts of the world, like China and many other Eastern cultures, strength means having the ability to control your reaction to your emotions. The ability to overcome powerful emotions such as anger, jealousy and fear is a sign of strength in many of these cultures.

A normal person will want to lash out when someone or something pushes their buttons. Everyone gets angry at one point or another. Anger is a normal emotion, and there is nothing wrong with feeling mad. What counts is how you handle your anger with yourself and others.

Many people today have a short anger threshold. We live in an age of convenience and high expectations come along with services. As things get busier we can become frustrated and anger easily. Most often anger is the result of deeper feeling buried deep that need to be expressed. So if you’re are walking around angry, you might want to consider what feelings you are not dealing with or expressing within yourself.

All emotions change like the weather. In the course of a day you can move through many feelings. With practice you can learn to observe your anger and let it pass through you without reacting instantly. In this way you save yourselves from hot tempers that cool into embarrassment and behavior that you may feel ashamed of later on.

Here are some tips on dealing with anger so you can walk proud on your finest path through life:

1. Remember that anger and love are opposite sides of the same coin
If you really want love in your life, you must be willing to spend a little time with love’s relatives, anger and pain. It's common to think that with anger and pain come breakup and divorce. But the bottom line is the more you love someone, the more able they are to piss you off. So be aware: Anger and intense emotion are normal when you truly love and care about people.

2. Before you lash out, look within
When you're struggling with anger, it's common to blame others for every little thing. A true sign of strength is taking responsibility for yourself. Become self-aware - Take time to notice what you’re feeling and thinking, and why. Don’t act like children who are not very aware and act out temper tantrums when they are mad. Practice self-control and give yourself some time.

3. Write down your thoughts and emotions
If you can, take some time to write down or draw how you feel. For example, you can draw an angry face and scratch it out or write how you feel. After you have finished you can keep it or throw it away-It doesn’t matter. What you will notice is that you start to feel better once you have released the feelings.

4. Remove yourself from the situation
If you find yourself getting ready to boil and you just can’t seem to let go, it helps to go for a walk of move to another room in your home or office. This is especially a good way to avoid reacting too fast and loosing your cool on the job.

5. Practice deep breathing
Believe it or not, you can get so angry that you forget to breath. This is how many people get heart attacks. If you do this regularly you will find that anger is less likely to build up. When you feel stress coming on just take a few long deep breaths. Most people that smoke are really doing just that to handle stress.

6. Talk to someone you can trust about your feelings
Many times there are other emotions hidden below anger, like fear, sadness, grief, to name a few. If you have a close friend you can trust, maybe you can consider talking to them about how you feel. Working out your deeper feeling will definitely lessen the intensity of your anger.

Books by Christopher Emmanuel can be purchased at his Art Gallery in The Sunbreeze Hotel , Art of Touch, Pages Book Store, Black orchid Spa and  Sol Spa.

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